Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Get Over It

I wrote a post yesterday but then I hesitated to actually publish it. I like being open and honest on this blog but I don't think I need to air all of my whines and moans. I think writing is cathartic for me, so really just typing out everything I was thinking and feeling was enough to help me get over it. "Recovering" from a race that felt like a bit of a disappointment is different than coming off a race where everything went great (I think the recovery becomes more mental vs physical). Maybe it signals a time to revamp what you're doing... but maybe you just chalk it up and say whatever and let it go and continue to move forward on your path.

I kind of think that my race performance on Saturday is something I'm not really going to be able to figure out. So maybe the best thing is to stop trying to figure it out? The real question might be How am I going to proceed forward? Every once in a while I get an inkling to hire another coach, but to be perfectly honest, I can't really see myself trusting another coach more than I trust myself. There's one coach who I could see myself hiring (and trusting) but I have already asked him (twice) to coach me and both times he turned me down. Maybe I am a lost cause? I might be uncoachable at this point. So the question remains... How will I move forward? Honestly the answer to the question might just be that I'll move forward the same way I've been moving forward. At the end of the day, I love this sport and I can't see myself quitting. Even if I'm never as fast as I was before (likely scenario, I'm starting to accept this), I can see myself continuing to train and race simply because I enjoy it. To be honest, even if I could have seen into the future and I knew that this year at Honu was going to be my slowest race there, I'd still go back and do it the same way. It was a really fun weekend! It remains my favorite race, even if I can't even look at my watch while I'm out there.

I haven't wanted to resume 'training' quite yet. I did swim 2k today all pretty cruisy. Thought about riding my bike but just felt ridiculously tired so I took a nap instead. I'm not sure how much of my perceived fatigue is real vs maybe just in my head (my mojo has been low the last few days!) but tomorrow I'm going to try to pry my head out of my ass and get back in my groove!

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