I was out riding this afternoon and feeling more motivated than I have in a long time... I think racing this year (so far) has been so good for me... mostly b/c I have walked away from every race feeling partially satisfied... yet not fully satisfied... And that has been so good for me because while I feel like I am on the right track, every time I race it's clear that I have more work to do. And I love that!
So today I rode an easy lap of Tantalus and then my second time I up stepped on the gas a little and went nearly a minute faster than I've ever gone before. So that was cool, except I knew I had one more lap to go and it needed to be the fastest of the day so I gathered myself at the bottom and mentally prepared to really get after it... which I did... so that 2nd lap PR lasted a very short time because I crushed it the 3rd time up. It was awesome and satisfying and further proof of the fitness boost I gained this last month- all those miles and all that climbing in AZ paying off every time I get on my bike these days. I love that! :)
Anyway, as I was riding down the mountain for the final time today I started thinking about why I push myself so hard and what my goals are, etc. And it was so crystal clear to me... I want to win races! But there are so many fast strong women out there (yes- you!) and I have such tremendous respect for you all and that just motivates me to work my ass off in training... because that's the only way I might even possibly win a race around here. I do not have a huge amount of genetic talent, but I do have an unusually strong work ethic so I'm using the tools I've got. And I find myself viewing it all in such a healthy way this year- way healthier than I ever have before in the past. I think in years past I have put too much of my own ego on the line... like my self-worth was directly linked to how fast I went in a race... I do not feel that way now, which might just be the most refreshing (and healthy!) change an athlete can make. Now I just feel like I want to win- And I'll admit that I want to win (seems women are never supposed to admit that??). And when I don't win, I simply feel a huge amount of respect for those who did, and I feel more motivated than ever to out-train them so hopefully I'll be more of a threat next time. So in conclusion, the reason I train so hard is because you all are so freakin' fast! ;)
So... until next time...