Sunday, June 14, 2009

Ignoring The Problem Doesn't Make It Go Away

FYI- sleeping in your compression socks does not give you new springy legs in the morning. Well, maybe it would for you... but it didn't for me. Bummer.

It was a good experiment on my part though. :)

I tried to blame Motorpace and his setting the road on fire yesterday for the lack of spring in my legs today. But when I gave Scott that excuse, his reply was, "You were the knucklehead who followed him yesterday!" Ok. Fair enough.

Anyway, suffice to say that my half marathon this morning was... well... just a half marathon. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. Not that I expected it to be. Jen warned me that I would not feel good. In fact, in her email instructions to me this week she said, "Not a fan of you racing this weekend AT ALL. But you do what you need to do." Hmmm. Wonder what she meant by that?

It was fine though. Clearly I was missing some of the competitive fire that I used to have... because I was just out there running, and when it started to hurt, I just slowed down. There was nothing in me this morning that really wanted to lay it on the line. Weird, because yesterday I was totally good with putting it all out there. Go figure.

Anyway, I debate about telling you all this part of the story, my bloggy friends... It definitely falls in the TMI category... But I share it in the interest of keeping this post interesting... because it could possibly be the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to me in a race and might make for a good chuckle from some of you at home... Ok. Ready?

I can't believe I'm going to tell you this.

So let's go back to middle school for some vocabulary and just say that, um, Aunt Flo came out to visit this weekend, which, unbelievably in 15 years of racing, has never happened to me before. I didn't invite her and was not particularly pleased by her visit. But I did what I could to, um, plug her up, so she would be of minimal disturbance to my run this morning.

All was well and good until about 9 miles into the run... at which point I could, um, feel her trying to, um, unhinge the plug. What to do? What to do?

So I did what I do best and just ignored the problem, hoping it would just go away. But we all know that ignoring problems does not make them go away.

Let me just say that this little race was not lined with spectators cheering us on the whole way. In fact, there were really only spectators in maybe the last 25 meters or so toward the finish line. And wouldn't you know it? This is where Aunt Flo declared her victory in, um, popping out the plug, so to speak.

Just so you're not confused, I managed to run 13.05 miles while keeping everything contained, and then, right in front of all these people at the finish line, I was horrified as that bloody tampon just fell right out, in the middle of the finish chute.

AAARRRRGHHH!!

I had no idea what to do?? What does one do in a situation like that?? Go back across the finish line and pick it up? I did not do that. Again, I did what I do best and ignored the problem. Instead, I rushed right over to the table where they were handing out cups of water and dumped a few right on myself and then made a beeline to the bathroom to make myself somewhat presentable.

So I'll just take this opportunity to apologize profusely right now to anyone who happened to witness that horrifying event. Also to anyone who might have had the unfortunate experience of cleaning up my mess. I'm so sorry. Ugh.

22 comments:

cat. said...

okay, that's just a laugh f***ing RIOT! well, i'm sure not for you ... but to read after the fact. i bet losing your tampon in the race shoot wasn't on your list of "what if's" for your race plan. oh damn, michelle. you WILL laugh in retrospect.
i hear ya on the fire not being there today. sorry it wasn't, but i know it's not out ... it's just smoldering, letting itself build for a bigger party.
xo!

Rebecca DeWire said...

You rock for sharing all details of your race and keeping it real! That had to have been rough, but it totally made me laugh. I will totally have to deal with this woman issue when I race IMCDA....I am definitely NOT looking forward to that.

After reading how fast you rode yesterday, it is no wonder that you couldn't push it today! Running on tired legs is great IM training in my opinion, no matter what the speed is. You are going to be great in Kona!

Clare said...

ha ha! that must've been a mighty uncomfortable run at the end!

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Hee hee hee - I am laughing so hard, but feel mortified at the same time. That is a nightmare of mine! I'm supposed to get a visit from aunt flo this week...but am skipping the sugar pills in my birth control and going right back to week one today. :) Thanks for sharing, though - :)

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Nathaniel says that, in the words of Creed from "The Office" - you should call this "The Tide at Omaha Beach." Thanks for the laugh - one day, you'll look back and laugh... :)

Beth said...

Oh my - see what women go through????!!!! :) Thanks for sharing and just know I am only laughing at the situation - AHHHH - hilarious!! I totally would have done the same thing...ignored it and just kept on going right through the chute...but I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to tell anyone. :) Well, I guess there is a first for everything...

Mel said...

I read about this on FB and I had to come to your blog just to read....Let's just HOPE no one did the blazeman roll over your nice gift....this post was too funny...I had the same kind of situation happen to me during the run in a half Ironman...but I felt it coming un-plugged and I just pulled it out and fired it into the woods...so I am glad to hear that this kind of stuff happens=)

DC Running Mama said...

Well, I guess that's better than sh*tting your pants, right?? Full confession: I've just pulled the darn plug out on runs when it starts to come loose. So annoying. In fact, I often don't use a plug when running because of the very problem that you mentioned. I think the don't ask/don't acknowledge approach is the best to take!

And, um, didn't you just do a 1/2 ironman? Doesn't that disqualify you from having to do any hard workouts for a month?

Kate Parker said...

Poor Mama! Thanks stinks, but super impressive that you are running a half this weekend.

Now you have me scared...I didn't know they could fall out like that. Damn.

N.D. said...

Oh no!! that is so embarrassing!! Hehe, sounds like you handled that well!

cherelli said...

Hahahaha that is hilarious!! Excellent tactic keepin' it movin' to the bathrooms, that way people don't get a good look at your mortified face and actually they may not have even noticed until maybe the next runner came in - by which time you were long gone :) Mortifying yes but an amusing story to re-tell to your girlfriends over a few drinks!!!

Alicia Parr said...

Oh WOW. I'm saying "that's terrible" over and over through peals of laughter. Oh poor Michelle. I think I can safely say that no one reading this wishes themselves in your shoes on this one. You WILL laugh about this eventually and probably are already. Mortified laughter, maybe, but all laughter is good.

Molly said...

OMG Michelle! Not much else that can be said except I'm so sorry that happened to you (and I laughed so hard at your last paragraph - I wonder who *did* have to deal with that in the end!).

Sara said...

Oh my gosh...that is hilarious! OK, a little embarrassing but still funny :-) (Probably because it didn't happen to me!) Good job for continuing on, even though that had to be so ANNOYING!!

ADC said...

Ha ha ha ha. That is so funny. Sorry just had to laugh. When Marit commented to something on FB I just had to come and read it myself :))

Trisaratops said...

OMG...I'm sorry but I totally just laughed here! With you...I swear. ;) See, that's why women are the tougher sex...see the crap we have to deal with?!!? ha ha

Angela said...

oh dear...reminds me of my home depot story when I was pregnant with Ryan...long story short, no it wasn't my water that broke and that poor 16 year old boy was cleaning it up with his bare hands.

Anonymous said...

Are you breast feeding? If so, I'm surprised that Aunt Flo came to visit. I stopped BF about 6 weeks ago and still no Aunt Flow- yeah!

Regina said...

yikes! I am mortified for you as I had my first pee-on-yourself while racing issue about a week ago (you just can't hold your water the same after giving birth). Since this is my first season of triathlons, with two races on the "Red Letter Day", I decided to go back to the pill to avoid what happened to you altogether.

I have often wondered how this situation is handled by experienced triathletes. I guess I know now! Btw, someone told me about this product called Instead softcup. they swear by it. Kind of like a "recepticle", think diaphram-like. Haven't tried it, but it is my plan "B".

Amazing you biked as you did and then did the half marathon, I am in awe!

X-Country2 said...

Ah, so you ARE mortal! :o)

Charisa said...

Ok, I just about fell off my chair at work I'm laughing so hard. Seriously - how do things like this happen? I think you handled it brilliantly. So now someday when someone tells you that you aren't hard core you can be like "OH YAH, well have you ever had THIS happen to you?!" :)

Ordinarylife said...

Oh my word - sorry laughing in embarrasment for you.

But - not as bad as what happened to a girl this year in the Comarades Ultra Marathon in South Africa. Which is televised live NATIONALY! They focused in on her and said, it is a tough race and this girl must have fallen as her legs were bloody.... Then suddenly silence and the camera moved away. They must have realised what had actually happened.

Hopefully this makes you fell a bit better?