Accepting What Is True

I didn't write last night b/c I had a wicked headache. And no energy. It was a weird day yesterday b/c there for a while in the afternoon I kind of thought maybe I was feeling better, but then around 3:00 this headache came on and pretty much debilitated me for the rest of the day. It's really rare that I get headaches. I ended up taking a couple of Tylenol PMs so I could sleep last night. That worked ok and I slept, but I woke up in the middle of the night soaking wet. I guess that was an episode of night sweats, which I'd never actually had before. It was terrible though my pajamas were soaked through, as were the sheets. I changed my PJs and moved to the middle of the bed to sleep, but that was weird.

I got up at 6 to swim this morning, because it's Wednesday. I went into the kitchen, had a moment of clarity about my actual physical state (pounding headache, no energy) and within a minute I accepted it for what it was... Took 2 aspirin and went back to bed. Ugh. Will this virus ever lift or does it just change form every 48 hours?

I read a blog that Lauren Fleschman wrote yesterday... About learning to accept what is true. So not that you stop dreaming or trying... you still do all that... but you live in reality and don't kid yourself about how things actually are. That hit a chord with me.

I feel like I'm doing everything I know to support my immune system... I always tell my athletes when they get sick... Sleep and Plants! Plants and Sleep! So I've been doing that and taking in all the nutrients (green juice, check!) and avoiding processed foods and avoiding excess stress. I think this virus is just a nasty one. I don't know if its the same one Moana had over Christmas break or not? Hers lasted ~2.5 weeks. Seems like a long incubation period if I got it from her, though that's the only thing that makes sense. I don't actually have a ton of contact with people since I work from home and tend to be alone a lot.

Anyway, by mid morning I thought I felt ok enough to attempt a jog. I strapped my HR monitor on and decided I would jog along at MAF-5 to ensure it was indeed super easy. I was sort of curious about how much slower than normal it would be? I figured maybe a minute/mile? Turns out, it was 2'/mile. I shit you not. 4 miles in 46:15. I went back and forth about how I should feel about that... Hey, being out jogging was better than being in bed, right? Progress! But, um, 2'/mile slower than I was 6 days ago? Ugh. Damn virus- you suck. I do believe I did the right thing by obeying my HR today though, even if it was ego crushing to do so. Justin Daerr wrote an article a while back with some advice on run training, and a key point was about training at the level you are at, not the one you want to be at. Gold. So that sort of goes along with what Lauren Fleschman was saying too... I think had I run my normal 9:30 "easy" pace this morning, it would NOT have been easy and I likely would have set myself back. So as much as I don't like my current situation, denying it doesn't make it not true.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be a bit better.