Saturday, November 26, 2011

In My Head

I've written like 3 different blog posts over the past week but have yet to hit publish on any of them. Do you ever go through periods where you just don't think that people really need to know what's going on in your head? That's where I'm at right now. Sometimes I read over what I write and wonder does anyone actually care about this crazy stuff going on in my head and in my world? And then I just save it and figure that since the benefit of writing it all out is actually just for me to sort out my own thoughts that I don't have to actually hit the publish button it to get what I want/need. So sorry, you're missing out on my deepest thoughts this week but here's some 'surfacy' stuff that you probably don't care about either. ;)

And just for the record, I'm not injured. I'm not pregnant. I'm not getting divorced. There is nothing crazy/big going on in my world... just in my head. Honestly, I think I'm in a bit of a tailspin because I'm just basically in between goals at the moment and don't know what to do with myself without some big race that I care about coming up at some point soon. Ok, the Double Roughwater is next week but somehow in my head that does not count as a 'big race' that I actually care about. Isn't that funny? I bet you guys all thought that I would really care about that one but it's just sort of another swim that I enjoy but it's not even on the same plane as 'Ironman' or anything to me. So of course I'll do the best I can at that swim but I'm not like banking my year on it or anything. It's just a fun challenge that I do every year.

And I'm not running the Honolulu Marathon. I got my race number thingy in the mail thing the other day... I entered the marathon last January when it was $35 for residents... I figured that $35 was not a bad price to pay to have the option of running it if I felt like I wanted to come December... I would never pay $180 or whatever it is to run that marathon (or any marathon for that matter!) which is what it costs if you miss the early entry. (Isn't it funny I'd pay $35 to not run but wouldn't pay $180 to actually run? Ha!) Anyway, I just don't feel like my running is at a point where I would cross the finish line of the marathon feeling like YES! THAT was awesome. I think I could put together a decent but not *super* (for me) marathon right now but running a marathon just to run a marathon when I don't think I'd be super happy with my result doesn't excite me much. (I'm too hard on myself at the finish line of run races so anything slower than what I really think I could do would be dissatisfying and I just don't feel the need to put myself through that again.) Honestly, it's not worth the recovery time to me when all I really want to do is train. I am enjoying run training right now and just want to keep on keepin' on and that does not involve resting for and recovering from a marathon.

Moving on. I did run a rather disappointing 1/2 marathon last weekend. It wasn't actually truly terrible until the last 3 miles... which I guess are pretty much universally terrible in 1/2 marathons but really this was like all of a sudden I'd picked up a 3000lb grand piano and put it on my back to carry up and over Diamond Head at the end. True story- While I was 'running' those last 3 miles I had the thought that 9' pace was actually a decent pace to be moving given that 3000lb piano on my back. Ha! Interestingly 4 days later I ran a 10 mile Turkey trot on the same course, called it a tempo run in my head (instead of a 'race'), felt absolutely horrible warming up, yet ended up coming through 10 miles faster than I did the first 10 miles of the half marathon and feeling 100x stronger. That sort of just solidified in my head that some days are just better running days than others. Go figure.

Anyway, we had a nice Thanksgiving. Nalani's family has the brilliant idea of having pie and coffee for breakfast on the beach (isn't that a wonderful Thanksgiving tradition?!?). So then later when you're stuffed from Turkey and potatoes and green beans you don't also have an obligatory piece of pie to stuff down. If you eat the pie in the morning after a solid 10 mile tempo run you can really enjoy it. :) Anyway, I thought it was brilliant. And here's what it looked like...


Mark said...

Yeah, well my wife constantly reminds me that NO ONE should ever know what is actually going on in my head.

Sorry your race did not end as well as you would have like, but for the record, even the largest model D Steinway weighs only 1000 pounds. This must have been some big-ass piano.

In case things ever feel terrible, just watch this to remind you of how terrible your life is there in Hawaii:

Angela and David said...

I write blogs I don't publish all the time. Sometimes I just need to work it out and writing helps. Odd though, before I ever had a blog I don't think I ever wrote down what was going on in my head.

With all of your consistently great weather I think it's great you are "just training" right now. If I lived in Hawaii I don't think I'd be able to resist the urge to jump in every single race. Then I'd surely injure or burn myself out. I guess that's one upside of living in a frozen tundra.

mmmonyka said...

I would not do that marathon either if I were in your shoes, although not for the same reasons. I somehow get over bad races/training days very easily. I feel disappointed etc immediately after but few hours later I dont even remember that I did a race. I wouldn't do it because I don't see a point in racing when you are not in your best possible shape. I did maybe 2-3 of those and it was a huge waste of everything (money, time, energy).

And you know my thoughts on that pie thing:) I find it completely acceptable to eat pie for breakfast, lunch, dinner...

Kiet said...

Awesome photo, like the clean lines in the horizon. Glad I didn't sign up for Honolulu for many reasons.