I was running with Nalani this morning and told her that I changed my mind and now I think I really am pregnant. She did a little double-take because all week long she has heard from me:
"I just don't feel pregnant..."
"There's no way anything is growing inside of me when I'm still able to swim like this..."
"I feel completely normal..."
"I know my body and there's just no way..."
But today I have a different story. I swear, you have to keep up with me every 6 hours these days to get the latest. It's like a roller coaster around here. Enjoying the ride? I'm not. But I sense maybe it's all about to flatten out here shortly.
What the heck am I talking about anyway? Ramblings of a pregnant woman... here we go. I woke up this morning feeling completely nauseous and it has stayed with me nearly constantly all day long. I'm not imagining it. I really do feel like I might puke at any moment.
AND, I got the initial results back from my HCG test yesterday. I know I know that one number doesn't mean much b/c we really have to wait and see if it's doubling every 3 days... but you knew I was going to overanalyze the initial results anyway, right??? 22,300. Um, with a level that high is it even possible that it stopped growing a week ago? Something in me just doesn't think so.
I do feel more at ease today (even though I might spontaneously puke right here on my keyboard) and I fully expect to see an HCG at 40,000+ on Monday. Although, I guess I've been wrong about everything else I've been feeling since I got that ++ on the pee-stick so who the heck knows?
ANYWAY, on to other stuff.
We did another long ocean swim this morning. The Double RoughWater is 2 weeks from tomorrow and I'm glad it's coming soon because that water is getting colder and colder every week. Today my arms and hands were completely numb within about 25 minutes but we kept swimming for another hour. Hardly stopped at all today which was good b/c it was just too cold to hang around treading water. I hope race day has high winds and choppy water because that's what we've been training in every week and I'm getting pretty good at it. You really do have to train a lot in choppy water to learn how to swim effectively through it.
See how windy it was today?
The best part of it all was that we grilled pancakes at the beach park afterward! Yum, blueberry pancakes. And coffee. Warm coffee.
From this picture you'd think Nalani is the one who is pregnant, but I'm not here to start any rumors. Really she's just hungry. Swimming will do that to you.
That's Ellen cheering with her mamosa. Kurt didn't put any champagne in mine. Actually, he did. But then Nalani reprimanded him so he poured me a new virgin one.
Scott brought Moana down to meet us at the beach for the pancakes. Mmmmmmm. She liked feeding herself. It's possible she ate more pancakes than I did.
I know she needs a haircut. She won't let me put it up or pin it back. Barrettes end up in her mouth.
So it was a good day. Now I'm going to be a good girl and go take a nap. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.
21 comments:
aha can you not wait for a definitive?? this is so tough!! Nalani is going to kill you for that comment!! haha cute pic and cute Moana!
Hi Michelle - have been thinking about you! Hang in there!!
Even though you said the water was cold, the whole idea of a good swim with blueberry pancakes at the end .. . well, with the palm trees and Moana in her t-shirt . . it makes those photos look warm!! :) And Moana is such a little booga (that's a good thing!).
It seems funny to say this, but I am thrilled to hear that you are feeling nauseous again! I love the bottom pic of Moana, super cute.
I cannot imagine how you are staying sane right now! I've been checking your FB status and blog like crazy waiting to see whats new! We might have to have an internet celebration when you find out. (Why is it that I'm so motivated to write on YOUR blog, but not mine!? SHeesh!)
UM, coming from this infertility mom...22,000 HCG is um....VERY HIGH......!!!!!!!!! :)))
YUMMY pancakes!
I can't imagine how nerve wrecking this time is for you right now.You are in my thoughts, hope you get some good news Monday.
Nausea and high number count usually don't lie. Good luck tomorrow with the numbers!! Thinking of you.
Ug! What an awful emotional rollercoaster! HCG levels seem really high!
22K! Alright! Just keep taking it an hour at a time...
You know that makes sense sort of. With both of my pregnancies I felt slightly nauseous and tired on and off until 6 weeks when it KICKED MY ASS all of a sudden. For me the 6 week mark is huge and everything changes. So, hopefully that is true with you! I am so happy you have a renewed sense of hope! I am still rooting for your number 2!!
I guess this is why people often wait until 12 weeks to tell people they are pregnant. Glad you are feeling pregnant again.
And seriously, are there just no wetsuits in Hawaii?
Brr...now you know what we had all summer in MN..It never warmed up. You gotta wear two caps, that is all i can say!
And pancakes oceanside, that is a great idea.
Your body is messing with your head, no doubt! Hang in there!
I'm glad I'm not the only one to over analyze HCG numbers and check to see how sick I felt at every instant! Unfortunately in my case my HGC levels were skyrocketing and I felt really truely rotten sick but had lost the pregnancy. Who knows how that makes sense.
that is very high Michelle. Pregnancy tends to make us all over the place too...soooo... Here's to feeling pregnant. I do hope all smooths out soon for you. :)
And um, the water is cold? HOW cold?? :) let this Maine girl live vicariously through you.
Sometimes one hour at a time or just one min at a time is all we can do. Don't worry, we will be hear to listen to the ramblings...good luck tomorrow. Sending lots of good vibes your way! :)
I want a breakfast picnic, that looks like fun!!
Oh, such confusion. I hope you get a concrete answer soon, this limbo makes ME go a little nutty!
Good luck with the morning sickness! It killed me duirng my pregnancy, threw up every day I was pregnant. I cannot believe how tough your are - getting out for the roughwater swim pregnant? i am impressed!
Hope today is a good day and you feel like you will puke (you know, so you're sure you are pregnant) but don't really puke :) Hang in there!
Wow, sounds like quite the rollercoaster!
Hope things are stabilizing for you this week :)
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