On Sunday I headed out for my long run... one of my favorite routes that includes lots of hills and takes me up up up an old road that is no longer maintained (so hardly even a road) through wild forests where typically you can run forever and not see a soul. The idea was that I needed to reconnect with my enjoyment of the long run. I remember doing this route a few times while training for Ironman and thinking that I would really enjoy this run when I was training for 'just' a marathon.
I felt ok on the way out. Didn't push the pace or anything but saw splits that were reminiscent of a few months ago when I was running better. But then coming home it all started to get too hard. Not that it got fast, mind you, just hard. After about 90 minutes my heart rate just felt like it was so high and there was nothing I could do to make it come down. Ok, I could stop, and I did that at lights... HR came down. Start running again, slowly, but HR would just jump right back up. Ugh. I ended up walking the last 1/2 mile home and officially (in my head) dropped out of the marathon. My body was just not handling these long runs like it should if I was going to put together a decent marathon in 5 weeks.
I checked my FB account later that afternoon and saw a sarcastic comment from a riding partner and friend of mine reminding me that I am getting fatter and slower every day. Thanks, Spence. If only you knew how right you were...
It was frustrating for the rest of the day. Ok, maybe I just wasn't recovered quite yet from Ironman. But seriously, it's been 4 weeks so you'd think I should start feeling more normal soon. I decided that I needed a rest week. Back everything off. No long swims. No hard runs this week. Let's see if that'll get my body to bounce back...
One thing that was bugging me some was that I have not had my period since before Kona. It was about 10 days late. I wasn't particularly worried about it because I figured that an event like Ironman was surely something that could/would throw your cycle off... but just to reassure myself, I bought a home test. I brought it home. Peed on the stick. Holy crap.
I think that's how I phrased it when I walked out of the bathroom holding the stick while approaching Scott. (Romantic, no?)
Um, yeah, so, um, this wasn't in the plans. I mean, it was in the plans for next year, but not right now. But what are you going to do? This is the second time I've peed on a stick and the second time I've instantly felt like I was going to puke while looking at the results. I mean, seriously, wouldn't it be nice to actually try for these things, and then be all psyched and happy when telling your spouse your great news??
And seriously, who gets pregnant immediately after completing an Ironman? Doesn't it seem like our bodies would want a little break and maybe not ovulate for a month or two? Word of caution: You can ovulate immediately after completing an Ironman.
Anyway, I know I am in control of my attitude and how I respond to all of this (well, kind of... pregnancy brings all sorts of whacked out emotions and responses that we may or may not be in full control of). Anyway, instead of focusing on the fact that I am, indeed, getting fatter and slower every day, I am trying my hardest to see the good in all of this. So here goes. The good stuff:
1. This is the last time I'm going to have to be pregnant. After this we will do something permanent to make it impossible since clearly all we have to do is sleep next to each other and BOOM. Pregnant.
2. At least we don't have to plan a wedding this time. :)
3. Ah ha! An explanation for why my long runs have not gone well. It's not just that I suck.
4. So while two babies within two years will be tough at first, the theory is that the two will be good friends since they are so close in age.
5. I get moved to the priority list to get the H1N1 vaccine.
6. Being pregnant is the best excuse for everything. Seriously. Everything. Want to eat another cookie? Go ahead. You're pregnant. Want to leave the party early? Tell people you're tired because you're pregnant. They cannot argue with you. Nap in the middle of the day? You totally should! You're pregnant. Don't feel like running hard? You shouldn't! You're pregnant.
7. It's really a license to cry at any given moment.
8. I'll get to stage another awesome comeback after having a baby. That really was pretty fun last year- doing little races here and there and knowing people were thinking, "Holy crap. She just had a baby!!"
9. Speaking of an awesome comeback, how freakin' motivated am I going to be in 2011??? I am not so scared this time about how long it will take me to recover and get back into shape. I know I can do it because I've done it before.
10. At some point in July, I'm going to get to hold a new precious little baby. If I'm honest with myself, I am quite curious about what another one will be like?
So anyway, sorry to all you triathlon folks out there... this blog will now likely turn into some crazy ramblings of a pregnant woman for the next nine months or so... though hopefully I'll still have some tales to share of how to exercise when you feel like an elephant. Maybe there will even be a swim race report in there every once in a while... (yes, I'm still planning on the Double RoughWater in 4 weeks.) After July 2010 it'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming of New Mama Kicks Ass in swim/bike/run.