Sunday, September 11, 2011

On Sucking

I ran a local half marathon this morning. It was just a low key event in a nearby town. Not a hard course, even if it was a bit long. I didn't run well. Which is frustrating. But not surprising. I've pretty much proven to myself in training lately that I can't even run a single mile within 20" of my old half marathon pace without falling right off the cliff, and since race day magic doesn't happen for me, I should not be shocked. I mean, I wasn't expecting a PR. But I didn't think it was unreasonable to expect to run faster than I would in a half ironman. But I didn't. Three times I've gone faster in half ironmans. And I ran a faster open half marathon when I was 3 months post-partum. With the flu. Go figure.

Anyway, this pretty much proves to me that if I am not doing speed work, I should just stay the hell away from running races. It's just gut wrenching to work so diligently and consistently and then try to run a half-way decent race and fail. Argh. And then after it was over some people were trying to be nice and give me excuses for why I suck, but whatever. I hate excuses. In my mind it doesn't matter what I did yesterday. And if I didn't hydrate well enough yesterday, well that's my fault. I appreciated two comments I got today though... Marcy actually asked me if I was okay because she said I looked like shit. Thank you. Because at least she was honest! I'm sure I did look like shit since I felt like shit. And then my athlete Leigh said the best thing she could have said... "It'll be there when it's important to be there." Thank goodness I have smart athletes to console me. ;) But I really appreciated that from her today. I think that is what I needed to hear to help me keep it all in perspective. And I hope Leigh is right. Because sucking like this 4 weeks out from Kona is not especially confidence boosting.

The one thing that didn't suck about today was that Moana was waiting for me at the finish line wearing her little Nike running shorts and shoes... I asked for my race t-shirt in a child size small and even though it fits Moana like a dress, she wore it all day. So that made me smile.

11 comments:

Ana-Maria RunTriLive said...

But you won't be running HM pace in Kona! For me, if I want to PR a HM, I need to do specific work for a HM. Even now when I am training for a marathon and do speedwork, I know I would not PR in the HM bc I have not done any HM specific work.

mtanner said...

Michelle- you hardly suck! Some days it just isnt there and that is okay. Keep the bigger picture in focus which I am sure you are. xoxo

Iron Krista, "The Dog Mom" said...

I have complete faith BSC is gonna show up JUST in time!!! Good thing you have a BSC coach to figure this out for you :-)

And, maybe you caught it from me. I've sucked for the past 3 weeks. SUCKED. Slowly getting better, I'm trying to have faith? :-) Hang in there!

mmmonyka said...

If only I could give you some of my running speed in exchange for your swimming speed:)

As you always say, running a stand-alone HM (or marathon) is different from running one in a triathlon race, so this HM race probably does not really matter. What matters is your running off bike.

Rebecca DeWire said...

I have total faith that your run will there when you need it in Kona. Based upon your triathlon results this year, I think your coach knows what he is doing to get your ready for your big day. And that silly half mary was not your big day, so don't sweat that race even for a second. Also, I can't help but think of how you blasted yourself last weekend. Give those legs some rest, shed the fatigue, and in 4 weeks so those legs will be ready to run.

Molly said...

I am confident that the architect of your training will have your legs where they need to be for the race day where it counts most!

Michelle said...

Boy do I know how you feel today.....I sucked yesterday too and my Kona confidence went right out the window!! Keep your chin up, keep up the work and you will NOT suck in Kona:)

Lectie said...

4 weeks out from a major race is always total sucking time, you just have to realize that when the time comes you'll be tapered and ready and everything you've been working on all year will come together and you will have the best possible race for you on that day...you've trained hard all year and you WILL be ready for the big one when it's time. :-)

Angela and David said...

IM training makes you slow for anything shorter with respect to the run. This frustrated me too now end last year, especially since speed on the run is my thing. Sounds like you are right where you should be for Kona.

idropboys said...

I know the feeling.....I sucked in Vegas! And can only think HS - 4 weeks and Kona? How can I pull it together, because if Vegas was an IM I would still be out there...ugh!

N.D. said...

Those are good comments! And without doing speedwork - it totally makes a difference. You are going to do great this weekend. I'm sure you got over this already :)