I ran 15 miles this morning... with 5 of them in a little local 8K.
I was driving to the race in the dark this morning thinking about what a complete freakin' head case I am... coming up with all these stupid excuses about why I wasn't going to run well this morning... primarily just having flashbacks of all the shitty run races I have had over the years and that since I always run so poorly at these things today would surely be no exception... especially given that 3.5 hour brick yesterday blah blah blah. (Good mental technique, eh? You like that? Lol. Just being honest here. I already admitted I am a headcase when it comes to running races!) Truth be told, part of the reason I did that brick yesterday was to give myself a bit of an 'out' for today... you know, well of course I didn't run well because look what I did yesterday type of thing (Even if I only said that in my own mind and never outloud...). And let's face it, I tried to freshen up prior to a 5K two weeks ago and that didn't even start to work for me so I figured why waste a whole weekend of training for a dumb little 8K that no one (not even me!) cares about?? And while I *knew* I was sabotaging myself before I'd even started warming up I just sort of accepted it as my reality and well, whatever.
Maybe I lowered my own expectations too much but my goal today was just to see if I could knock off 7:30's for 5 miles. Heck, I have not done that in training lately so it would require a bit of that Race Day Magic bullshit people talk about to pull that off and honestly my confidence about even doing that was not high. BUT, I took away the I didn't get to warm up enough excuse by arriving in plenty of time to jog 4+ miles including some pick ups so at least I had that going for me. And honestly, even warming up I did not feel that brick in my legs at all so maybe these 5 miles wouldn't suck that bad after all?
Random picture of Diamond Head from Kapiolani Park... where most of our running races are around here. I did have a nice view of the sunrise over the ocean during this race so I know, I should never complain!
I set my garmin to show me only distance but it was auto-lapping every mile so it would buzz at me and flash the split if I cared to look... so I had the option... which I took the first time it buzzed and saw 7:30 on the nose. Ok I'll take it. It didn't feel that hard, but then of course mile 2 went up/over Diamond Head into a ridiculously stiff and relentless headwind and I knew from prior experience that was going to cost me at least 40" so I did not dare look at my garmin when it buzzed the second time. And the third/fourth/fifth time it buzzed I also opted for ignorance. I felt like I was running fairly well... I was working and pushing the way I think one is supposed to in a running race which honestly was rather new. Usually I just feel like such complete garbage that I can't even push and the whole thing is a struggle... but today, while it hurt, it seemed like it hurt in the appropriate way, and that sort of made me happy. :)
I finished and as soon as I caught my breath I went to the history file on the garmin to check my splits. We'll just ignore mile 2 because that one does not count... but after that I ran 7:29, 7:29, 7:24. I'll take it! To me, while I know 7:30 is not crazy blazing fast, this race was definitely a confidence boost in the right direction. It was not a PR for 8K but it was close, and given that I've been light years from my run PRs lately, being close is something I'm happy with. It feels like a step in the right direction and more reflective of some of the work I have done lately which honestly is just sort of a relief. I won my age group which I suppose is cool, but only b/c nobody fast showed up and honestly I could have placed 10th in my age group with the same splits and been just as satisfied. I hope it wasn't too rude, but rather than hanging around for awards, I went and jogged 6 more miles so I could rightfully call this a long run day. At the end of this weekend I'm feeling rather satisfied in a way that is rare in my world!
In two weeks I have an option of 10K or 5K. I would WAY rather run the 10K, which makes me think I should probably suffer through that damn 5K again.
4 comments:
I like your honesty about excuses. Everyone does it but only few admit it:)
YAY!
Nice job! Sounds like you're heading in the right direction!
It's not magic. Its true grit.
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