Friday, May 4, 2012

On Giving In To The Demons... Or Not.

I got in the pool this morning and started warming up and the piano fell on my back after about 50M. Sweet. It was going to be one of those workouts... Which was a bummer b/c this was supposed to be a good hard one and I had been looking forward to it. Sort of.

I kept the w/u pretty mellow and then we got into the long main set and I was just off the back right away and thinking whatever. Just get through this one. Or maybe I should get out? Should I get out? No. Stay in and do it but just let it go that it's just going to be a shitty day.

As the meters dragged on my thoughts evolved. I didn't say any of this out loud but all this was going through my head this morning...

This sucks. I am just too tired. I should know that if I want to swim well on Friday morning I can't do a w/o like I did Thursday afternoon... and Wednesday... and Tuesday... So much fatigue. Ugh. Mark and Steve don't have this fatigue b/c all they do is swim. Losers. I should swim by myself more. Seriously, they have no idea what it feels like to actually be tired. I need to eat more. Ugh. Am I going to get my period soon? I bet I am and that's why I'm being so pissy. Oh that would suck. Honu is 4 weeks away and if I'm going to get it now then I'll be PMSing at Honu. That sucks. Seriously I have just not fueled enough this week. So.much.fatigue. Damn Mark is all peppy. Whatever. Should I start resting soon? Feeling like this sucks... I must be PMSing.

So there I was swimming off the back with all those negative thoughts in my head. I wasn't speaking to anyone at the wall except to say "5 seconds..." and then we'd just go again. It wasn't very much fun.

And then, 2600M into the swim, I told my bitchy self to SHUT UP and I started SWIMMING. Nalani and Mark noticed right away b/c I was actually swimming next to them instead of 1/2 a pool behind them... Nalani was like "Michelle is warmed up now!" But it wasn't about being warmed up. It was about getting over myself, shutting out the negative thoughts and doing WORK. I jammed through the rest of the main set (which was only like 1200M but still) and even started goading Mark on (which was way more fun than just being a bitch in my own head)!

I think the biggest take-away for me today was that it is indeed possible to turn around your shitty attitude mid-workout. I've known for quite some time that especially when it comes to swimming, whether or not I swim fast is completely dependent on whether or not I decide I'm going to swim fast. I know it's all in my head. But typically the way that works is I decide on my mind-set (consciously or unconsciously) prior to starting the swim and then it is what it is and the whole w/o goes that way. Today was the first time I've managed to turn it around in the midst of it. Valuable lesson to put in our pockets!

7 comments:

Lizzie said...

This is exactly how I feel during the first 1.5 miles of a run or when I start out warming up on the elliptical for strength training. And then nine time of ten it hits - the point where you either shake it off or suddenly get that awesome feeling where you could go for hours (thankfully your brain reminds you there's a time limit!). Every single time I come out minus the funk I went in with.

JC said...

That is AWESOME that you turned yourself around. Defn one for the pockets!

Damie said...

great post- and I know what you mean. I feel like I learned that a little bit at camp- about pushing boundaries and how much of things were in my head. it is just deciding to do it regardless of how you feel. love you and glad you took control. xo

Steve said...

And sometimes we have to accept we have bad days... Maybe our goal in lives are to be Superhuman, and maybe eventually we realize... I am just me...

If I could train myself to jump over the Sears Tower, I'd do it. Ain't gonna happen you know??

We can do some o.k. things, but what does it amount to?? I don't wanna sound negative, cuz I don't mean it that way. I guess I am saying you are trying to find out all you can do, but that doesn't even scratch the surface of what can be done.

You know what I mean??

xo :)

Di Tri-ing said...

Thanks for the tip. I should have powered out this morning, too. I had an easy 1 hour recovery trainer ride on the menu. I didn't want to get out of bed, but I got my clothes on and took the dog for his walk. Then got on the bike. Bailed after 15 minutes.

UGH!

Melissa said...

Great post!

Roz said...

If I were Mark or Steve and reading your blog, I would totally be cracking up right now. But they're guys, so maybe they're between laughing and feeling chicked? You rock and how satisfying to turn it around!