Back In The Saddle

I was going to write a blog post about the first swim of the North Shore Swim Series... but never got around to it. In a nutshell, was a fun swim! There were some decent sized waves to navigate- I navigated those wrong, which was a bit of a bummer when I saw my finish time/place but whatever... Live and learn... Next time I'll make a different choice! Love this picture though- it's not me but I felt like I took a wave like this at the end of the race... Was so exhilarating! Normally I'd never be brave enough to body surf shore break like this, but given the race situation I did and it was so fun! I had a goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day because of the wave I body surfed in.

After that race it was on to Ironman training... Marilyn and I had some good discussions about how things went down at Honu and how my training could be tweaked going forward. Essentially, I begged her to put my on the high volume plan because based on past experience I just 100% believe that's what works best for me... and she agreed. Super! So my Training Peaks calendar showed a good meaty week... like the kind of week that was a bit scary even to me... The kind of week that really made me think "Wow if I get through all this I'm going to be tired." Truth be told, those are my favorite weeks.

That Sunday I rode ~5.5 hours with Lectie and Michelle and Gary. Really should say that I got my ass kicked for 5.5 hours but however frustrating that was, it was certainly a step in the right direction toward the goal of fixing this gaping hole in my fitness so I was happy to have that done. The next day I rode a solid 56 miles alone, mostly in my aero bars and holding ~Ironman power steady throughout, and that felt stronger than I expected it to so that was super. Then the next day bike week continued with bunch of hill reps... so off I went to Tantalus to climb climb climb.

Unfortunately I didn't make it very far into this workout before I ended up with a broken helmet.

I was descending Round Top Dr, thinking about how (since this was the 3rd time in 7 days I'd been on this mountain) how much more confident I felt about descending it... I wasn't really trying to go fast or anything, but I was less cautious and more relaxed than I had been in the past. I actually took that as a good sign (progress!), until I hit a big pothole and both my hands popped off my bars and I lost control and landed on my head.

My first thought after I hit the pavement was that I need to go see Dr Zen. He's our local chiropractor and he's awesome and I knew my back/neck were going to be a mess after taking such a hit. My next thought was that I needed to get back on my bike right away.

So here's the thing. Last month two of our TeamBSC athletes went down on their bikes (one of Krista's athletes and one of mine). My advice to each of those guys, after a bit of sympathetic yes bike crashes suck, was that riding a bike can be a risky endeavor and it's a risk we all accept every time we go out to ride... And after you crash the best thing you can do it suck it up and get back out there on your bike again as soon as you can.

This kind of tough love may sound a bit harsh, but I picked it up from Hillary Biscay when I went to her Tucson SmashFest camp in 2012. On the last day of that camp, she took us out on some rocky trails where several of us fell and ended up a bit bloody. To be honest, I was sort of shocked at her response when I fell... She gave me like a minute to collect myself and rub some of the blood away and then we were back off and running again... Just like yep falls happen out here its no big deal. I remembered that because I think I expected her to baby me a bit more. But the fact that she didn't baby me was actually quite empowering. It was as if her perception of me was that I was tough enough to not let a silly fall like that interrupt the rest of my run session, and I rose to meet that expectation and in the end was really proud of myself. So that was a good lesson and for the most part going forward, it's one I've applied not only to myself but also to my athletes in many cases as well.

So given that just weeks prior I'd pretty much told those athletes to buck up, I knew that following my own advice was my only option. In good news, my bike was scratched up but functional, so I got back on it and continued down the mountain. I actually considered trying to finish the hill repeat session, but after 1x10' climb I knew for sure that was a dumb idea. Mostly b/c I couldn't take a deep breath without some real pain and I sort of wondered if maybe I'd broken a rib? I rolled back to my car and called Dr Zen who, because he is awesome like that, agreed to see me over his lunch break. While he couldn't take away all of my pain, I do believe that seeing him so quickly was a big part of how quickly I recovered on the whole.

I spent the next 3 days grunting and groaning and gritting my teeth through every deep breath. In good news, I didn't break any bones... Just had some sore muscles around my shoulders/back/neck and maybe some bruised ribs and spasming intercostal muscles? Whatever it was, it was getting better every day, and by Saturday I felt like I might be okay to go ride my bike again. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any fear- of course I had some fear getting back on my bike. But I reminded myself that I've been riding for 20 years now and only fallen off 4x. That statistic was pretty favorable toward me being able to get through a short ride that morning without crashing again, so I pretty much banked on that! And toward the end of that ride, once I was able to relax, I felt joy... Like Yes! I love riding my bike. I think that joy needs to be there at some level, and if it's not, why bother being a triathlete? Sometimes I hear athletes complaining about riding their bikes and that just makes me wonder why they bother with a sport that doesn't bring them joy? There are too many other options out there to waste our time forcing ourselves to do something that doesn't bring us joy. In the end, I think that crash was good for me in that it reminded me of how much I really like riding my bike. When it was taken away, even if only very temporarily, it became crystal clear to me how much I wanted it back. So maybe that's the silver lining.

Anyway, check out this spiffy new helmet I got! It's the Smith Overtake. I'd been wanting this helmet for a while but couldn't really justify it since I had a perfectly good functioning helmet... But this one is the bomb. It's light and airy and fits my head really snug.

Cheers to not babying ourselves and being back in the saddle!

Honu 2015... I'm Conflicted!

One of the best parts about doing big races with lots of friends is hearing everyone's stories after it's all over. There's always something to be learned no matter how the race goes, and I'd argue that often we learn more when the race doesn't go well vs when it does.

When I crossed the finish line on Saturday, I had some friends ask how it went... and all I could say was "I'm conflicted!!" In a nutshell, the truth is that I raced to the very best of my current ability on Saturday. Unfortunately my current ability makes me slower than I've been in years and it didn't put me in the mix for top 3 in my age group the way I hoped it would.

So how do you deal with it when you look back and think you executed the very best you could, nothing you'd change, but yet the results weren't even in the ballpark of where you want to be?? I definitely don't want to bitch and moan b/c for the 5th year in a row I came away with a podium spot in my age group in this race so it doesn't really feel right to complain about that, but I'd be lying if I said I was even remotely satisfied.

There were some really good things about how the day went down on Saturday. I'd say I did the following things exactly right:

~Managed my time and stress levels all week so it was a really relaxed lead in to race day.
~Fueled and hydrated prior to the race really well.
~Felt like I was as rested as I've ever been going into Saturday.
~Was appropriately nervous/excited but not overwhelmed or fearful.
~Executed the best swim I could have given the scenario.
~Stayed upright on my bike when it was mass mayhem during the first ~10 miles.
~Fueled and hydrated exactly as I'd planned on both bike and run.
~Kept my head together and didn't mentally cave when it became clear to me that I wasn't going to reach any of my big goals.
~Never gave up.

Not sure how interesting it is to go through the details of each leg of the race, but here are some thoughts about how it specifically went down (if you're interested?!)

I knew my swim fitness was good so I started on the front line. W40+ started in the last wave and I hoped I'd have someone to swim with but was mentally prepared to go it alone if there was no one. Cannon went off, I swam hard for about a minute, took a quick look around and saw there was no one around me at all... so at that point I went with Plan B which was swim hard all alone. I caught what seemed like 1/2 of the pink cap wave (W39/under) by the first far turn buoys, followed my plan of staying on the inside of the pink marker buoys, passed a steady stream of people the whole way but for the most part had clear water, hit every yellow turn buoy straight on, and felt like I was swimming really well. Not super stroked with 29:48 but swim might have been like a minute long this year... No one else in my wave swam <34' and only 4 gals in the wave ahead of me swam faster, so I felt 100% satisfied with my swim. I will say this- I own 3 different brands of speed suits and without question my Roka one is the fastest material. Plus, I used my new Roka goggles which are mirrored/tinted in such a way that allowed me to no be completely blinded by the sun after the final turn when we were heading into shore. I'm a giant fan of Roka products for the swim!!

T1 and the start of the bike was a giant cluster*ck of a mess. I swam myself straight into the middle of the men's race and it was a disaster. Super scary, men everywhere riding all over the place weaving passing on both sides, etc. It's a minor miracle I stayed upright and didn't completely lose my shit. I had the thought that I really missed the days when this race used to be a mass start. I know a lot of people don't like the mass start b/c it doesn't spread things out, but for me personally it was so.much.better because I was able to get out onto the bike with some relatively clear roads and then the men who passed did so with authority b/c they were fast. So it's just less of a mess (for me) that way. Alas, starting in the back and dealing with this chaos is something we as women apparently just have to deal with now so I'm adapting.

I will say this- the worst is when these men refused to let women pass. Several times I found myself in a scenario that was 'illegal'... meaning I'd ride up on a guy and start to pass but then he would see me and step on it and surge ahead. Um, ok. I was sort of trying to figure out if that was my fault for not completing the pass or if it was his fault for not falling back after the pass was initiated? I didn't feel like I gained any drafting advantage when this was happening (it happened at least 4x with 4 different guys- the last one I just yelled at to BACK OFF AND LET ME PASS ALREADY) but I knew it wasn't 'legal' riding and that bugged me. They said the new rule was 5 bike lengths but even with the athletes spread out over 5 waves, there was simply not enough room on the roads for all those athletes to be spread out 5 bike lengths apart. And this course is a lot of rolling hills so depending on whether or not athletes were pushing the downhills or the uphills, there was a ton of passing back and forth. I'd say this- I didn't see any blatant cheating/drafting going on but I did see a lot of 'technically illegal' riding which just seemed to be the nature of how the race had to go... No solution to this really other than maybe to further spread out the swim wave starts?! I really don't know.

My 'best case scenario' plan for the bike ride was that I'd find a gal 39/under from the wave ahead of me who swam ~33-34 who was a strong rider and I'd be able to work with her... Sure enough around mile 10 a young gal rode by me and I was like PERFECT. She was strong and aggressive but I felt like I was too and neither of us ever settled to just sit behind and let the other get complacent out front... we (legally) passed each other back and forth probably 10x throughout the ride and came into T2 together. So that really was great and I loved riding with her.

During the bike I gave myself a little mental pat on the back every time I managed to eat. I never felt like eating but I knew better than to skip fueling, so I ate 2 bonk breaker bars + 2 gels + 2 bottles of Osmo + a Gatorade from on course + water as needed at each aid station. It's probably the best I have ever done fueling a 70.3 ride.

T2 was a mess for me but mostly b/c the way they had it set up- no passing zone for the last mile of the bike and of course I got stuck behind a guy who stopped pedaling and coasted in... Then he proceeded to jog as slowly as he could to the bike rack where we had to rack in the order we came in (vs in a pre-assigned spot by number) so I was basically walking single file behind this guy who was clearly not actually 'racing' and it seemed like forever... Finally I couldn't contain myself anymore and was like CHOP CHOP BOYS MOVE ALONG!!!! It didn't help but made me feel like I was at least being slightly proactive about trying to not waste time in T2. I hope they fix T2 for next year because it doesn't seem fair to the women who are competitive to get stuck behind men who are not... being in a situation where it was literally impossible to pass just seemed wrong.

I was told by some spectators that I was 6th woman coming into T2, and I knew that 4 of those women started 4' up on me- I'd been passed on the bike by one gal in my age group so knew I wasn't leading the age group but was still doing really well overall... I didn't know my exact bike split but I glanced at my watch which was showing time of day and did a bit of math and figured out that I didn't bike particularly fast (as compared to how I'd ridden here in the past) so I was trying to figure that out. I didn't spend much time or energy on it though I just got my run shoes on and set off onto the run course. Within a mile, Nell went running by and I thought SHIT now I'm third... Then like a minute later Audra went running by and I was like TRIPLE SHIT now I'm 4th... Kudos to those girls for being such badasses of course, but that pretty much confirmed to me that I hadn't had the ride I was hoping I'd have. Don't get me wrong- I wasn't sightseeing out on the bike- I was working as hard as was appropriate given my fitness, but that just resulted in speed that was not where I want/need it to be when I'm racing women as strong as these gals!

I wanted to win, but by mile 1 that goal was out the window because I was already 4th. In the past this would have been a giant mental blow but the thing I might be most happy with about this race is that I completely let that disappointment go and made a vow to salvage what I had... keep trucking along and just do the best I could with what I had in each moment. And that's what I did. I continued to follow my plan, ran as fast as my heart and legs would allow. Part of my plan going into the race was to not judge how it was going until I'd cross the finish line. I wanted to FOCUS on the here and now with every pedal stroke and with every step and I think this might have been the best I've ever done at achieving that goal.

Osmo continues to be a lifesaver at this race- it was stifling HOT with no shade and no wind but I had a bottle of Osmo waiting for me in T2 and I drank that down then survived on ice/water/gels/coke for the rest of the run. I didn't have any cramping issues (which I've totally had in the past!) and my energy stayed good/steady throughout the whole race. I was limited more by the fact that my HR was super high so that just placed a ceiling on how fast I could move along. I walked all the aid stations b/c I wanted as much ice and water as I could get each time and I also walked most of the short spiky hills in an effort to keep my heart from exploding out of my chest. Speaking of my chest, gotta give a shout out to my awesome Coeur Sports kit! I filled that bra with 2 cups of ice at every aid station so I had my own personal little cooler full of ice for the majority of that run. :)

I felt like I finished as strong as I started though, and I didn't get passed by any more women in my age group, so I smiled through the last mile or two. Holding myself together the way I did was certainly something to be proud of!

When you do the best that you can, but don't end up in the league where you want to be playing, what do you do? I'll tell you what I did. I came home and dug through 5 years of training logs and found the problem. I don't for a second believe that I am too old to be getting faster! And while I wish a lower volume/higher intensity plan was one that worked for me, the proof is in the pudding. It's back on the high volume bandwagon for me. If you need me this summer, come find me on my bike. :)