Heavy

This felt like a really heavy week. Not heavy training... in fact, due to several different issues/circumstances it's actually been a lighter week than normal... which actually made it feel heavier. That might not make sense, but it's how I felt. I think I use training to alleviate stress (ya think??) so when I'm feeling stress but can't train for whatever reason (injury, pool closures, day care closures, weather, natural disasters... to name a few this week) it weighs on me.

Calf is still tight. Blah. Nothing in there is torn which is cool but I can't for the life of me get that damn soleus to release. It's like a guitar string. Back to Magic Man again tomorrow. There's a part of me that feels like I just want to start jamming needles in there to get it to release but I'm pretty sure acupuncture isn't quite that random. And while I'll admit that I can be crazy, I'm not quite that crazy.

I still have not been able to shake the heaviness I felt upon hearing about Sally Meyerhoff. I didn't even know her but it's still just a very sobering reminder that everyday that we go outside and ride our bikes could possibly be our last. I've had to actively remind myself this week to not give in and start living my life in fear. That's no way to live. But still, it's sobering.

And of course then there's the earthquake and tsunami in Japan... I started to watch some of that coverage and then just had to turn it off. This week has been too heavy already and I couldn't add that to the pile in my head and heart. And while I know it's good to be 'better safe than sorry', this is the second time in the last year or so that we have undergone all these crazy tsunami warning drills here in Hawaii where the emergency sirens are going off every hour all night long and everybody has to hunker down and get to higher ground and shut everything down for what turns out to be essentially a beautiful day with an ocean that is higher by a couple feet than normal. I did see that the ocean in Kona flowed onto the road, and heard the lobby of the King Kam was flooded, but in no way (again) was it the huge emergency they make it out to be in the warnings and on the TV and radio. And you know what? Maybe one day it will be. I certainly hope not. But it's like crying wolf with these emergency drills and after a while you just get jaded to them, you know? Maybe it's just not in my personality to be an alarmist like that. I would be a terrible Emergency Planner because in my heart I just don't believe these bad things will actually happen. But then look at Sally. They do happen. See? I'm still trying to come to terms with that.

So okay, I just had a full on conversation with Scott about this and we came to the conclusion that there is no other alternative in these circumstances than to plan for the worst, so while logically I understand the reason the state carried out the emergency plan the way they did, my gut just thinks it was way overdone. Maybe I'm just grumpy because I was up half the night listening to emergency sirens.

And then tonight I went to a rather hoity toity event where there was a pig head, more like the whole top half of a pig, skin shaved off, on a deli slicer, being sliced very thin to make some sort of special carpaccio that was a delicacy I'm sure... but it just made me nauseous. I was starving, and totally needed to eat, but there was no way I was going to eat that. I mean, really? Who can look at a pig on a slicer like that and think, mmmm, let's eat!?